When the sun stays out past five, the snow melts off the ground, and the cold recedes – however slightly – from your skin, you know that you have hit spring. This isn’t just any spring though; it’s a good old Canadian spring. It marks a time when you can finally leave the cage of your own household and breathe in the pleasant outdoors while flowers blossom and birds sing their sweet tune. It is the time when your wallet has stopped shrinking into itself from the overindulgence in Christmas spending, and you can finally enjoy something other than Kraft Dinner. You can eat healthy things like vegetables and fruits and then go skipping outside, and play out in the sun. The glorious sun shines on your back, and smiles; then it holds up its two scoops of glory and rains down its ever so pleasant hail of raisins. You dance around in the fruity rain until it hits you: this really isn’t fruit. Then you wake up gasping and you knew it was a dream. Why? Because you’re in Canada and you thought of it being pleasant outside during spring.
Canada is known as the Great White North for two reasons. One is the fact that most of the time it is covered in snow. Two is the fact that it’s bloody cold up here. You spend most of your days huddled indoors scared to go outside in fear of your limbs falling off. No, we do not live in igloos, but we might as well say that our houses are constantly covered in snow and ice. When Canada isn’t in the state of being a frozen wasteland, it is in the state of recovering from such state. The snow thaws, and instead of it being bleak and cold, it is wet and cold. Rain pours down and then freezes to the ground – which pretty much turns the country into an igloo. Eventually the freezing stuff ends and then we get the pleasant cold rain that sticks to your skin and creeps into your bones. It is great to live in Canada.
Eventually the bitter rainy season ends and then you enter the blistering hot summer – well, relatively blistering hot. The outdoors reaches temperatures that pretty much equal room temperature; meanwhile, we can laugh at our neighbours down South while they’re busy trying to survive their crippling heat. We can sit back and enjoy the summer while they have to curl up inside their homes in fear of the heat. The summer – however short – is a slight relief from the igloo like conditions of Canadian weather.
Really though eh, it’s great to be Canadian. We got hockey, ice, and pretty things in nature. We’re though, proud, and all that good jazz. The greatest thing though, is that we’re Canadian – excuse my internal sense of logic here. There is no way to describe it, but there’s that binding feeling that just makes us feel awesome inside. The only bad thing I can think about Canada is the cold. Then again, people really don’t go outside nowadays anyhow. That doesn’t even matter because being Canadian actually has nothing to do with where you live. It’s that sense of heart – and pride – that you carry with you wherever you are. To be Canadian is to be awesome – no, awesomely awesome. To be Canadian is to awesomely more awesome than lumberjacks eating beef jerking while riding moose and chopping down trees to save kitties – meanwhile also eating poutine, listening to Rush, and wearing a badass tuque.
